Al's surgery was last Wednesday, and since then, I haven't quite been able to turn off the water works. It started with finding out he needed a second surgery on Thursday-I had been prepared for one, but definitely not a second one. That threw us both off, and really set my emotions into a spiral.
I won't lie, this surgery has not been easy for us both. Al's mouth is wired shut-and it's hard for him to breath, swallow foods, and also to get sick (which happened twice). It's scary, and it's trying, and it's wiped us both out completely. I cry about every few hours, just from the stress, and frustration of trying to get him to eat, and feel normal again. He has a low attention span, often gazing into the distance. I feel at times that I'm getting a glimpse of what it might be like to be a mom, and have another being that you feel so protective of, and how much it hurts when to be helpless. It's so overwhelming.
In all of this though, I don't feel like I've been saying "well, I know who my true friends are." Instead, I've been saying, "I now know how AWESOME my friends are." Everyone has rallied, continuing to call, email, stop by. I honestly would not make it through if it wasn't for our friends. And family-Al's family has been helpful, but I've learned more about my own family, and how we come together in times like these. It makes me happy to know that my family continues to be a crutch, and would drop everything in order to help me out.
And, with Al, I've learned in our moments of tenderness how lucky I am to have such a wonderful life partner, and even though things are rough, we try to look ahead, and take each day at a time. I think this is only making us stronger, and for that, I am blessed.
No comments:
Post a Comment