Monday, May 22, 2006

Give 'em the bird!


I had a traumatic experience this weekend. It may sound like I'm joking, but I assure you, this is no joking matter.

On Saturday morning, I left my house early to go work out. I felt a strange woooosh sound by my head as I was locking the door. I thought it was weird, but I wasn't certain what it was. I forgot my water bottle in the house, so when I went back to unlock the door, I felt it again. I saw a bird perched on our gate, and thought that there was just no way it could have been the bird woooshing at my head. I grabbed the water bottle-confident that I was just sleepy and imagining the whole thing-and went out the front door again. There was no mistaking it, the bird was dive-bombing me!!

What you have to understand is I'm TERRIFIED of birds. Not just even a little. I'm talking major fear. Is there a word for having a bird fear???

I've had many-a-bird incidents, and they freak me out. Once, a gaggle of geese all started hissing at me as I was walking along a path that was by water. I feared for my life as they all came toward me hissing aggressively. Then, in Australia, Al and I went to a wildlife habitat, where an ostrich-like-bird made a B line for me and literally started chasing me. So, with this bird dive-bombing me, I was totally petrified.

After I came home from working out, the bird attacked me again. I yelled for Al to come help me, because I was so scared. This bird was being really aggressive, and wasn't even letting me get in my front door. I figured out that it must be building a nest, or have babies or something, but still, I was just minding my own business---until it started provoking me. I grabbed our hose in my panic, and started spraying at it wildly. I'm sure I was a sight for the neighbors. I'm not sure what looked more crazy-me with the hose, or the bird attacking me.

I made it inside, unscathed, and began calling Animal Control. This bird was literally making me feel like a captive in my home-I couldn't escape because I feared it would attack. Animal Control was not helpful. They told me that unless the bird was dead or injured (or endangered) they would not come. Hellooooo--your name is Animal Control-aren't you supposed to "control" crazy animals?? I work for an environmental agency, and I can understand and appreciate not wanting to disturb wildlife, and that it's their home, they are just protecting their nest, but as I later came to find out, the bird is attacking ALL of my neighbors. People are feeling a bit apprehensive about being outside because of this crazy bird. To me, that is definitely a reason for Animal Control to come out!

On Sunday, I was lucky, and the bird left me alone--it was still out there, and still diving at people, but maybe the hosing off helped a little bit. Of course, it probably helped that I started carrying a tennis racket every time I left the house for protection. I had to laugh when Al suggested we rent "The Birds" as a tribute to my experience. No thanks-I've had enough to last me awhile.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Garden State


So, we made our way up to NYC last Friday-well, we didn't stay in NYC, but we were lucky enough to crash with Al's friend Mangan who lives in Hoboken in a totally decked-out batchelor pad-complete with view of Statue of Liberty, a huge flat screen tv, and a booming stero system.

We got up early on Saturday, and made our way into Manhattan to meet up with Al's parent, his brother, and his brother's girlfriend. We were pretty close to Times Square, so we walked around a little bit, but basically, kept finding ourselves wondering what to do next. NY is just to hard with a group of 6 who are trying to kill time in small pockets-we had about an hour to kill before lunch, after lunch, and after the play. Anyways, we settled on an early lunch since we had pretty much exhausted Times Square, so went to the Stage Deli for lunch-and got sandwiches the size of our face. And free pickles, which made Al happy.

After that, we wandered around some more, killing time before the play (The Odd Couple) started. Finally, we made our way to the theatre....luckily the whole cast was present, no stand-ins for our show. I have to make a confession-I still have a junior high school girl crush on Matthew Broderick. I can't seem to see him as anything other than Ferris Bueller. The play was hilarious, and Nathan Lane's timing was incredible.

After the play, we waited outside the stage door to see if we could meet any of the actors. Only one came out-Mike Starr-who was really cool, and made the time to talk to everyone. So, that was my brush with fame this trip. It seems every time we go to NY, we see someone famous, so it's always good to keep that streak running.

We were left with the same scenario of trying to find something to do after the play and before dinner-so more walking around Times Square. We finally went to dinner at an Italian restaurant Tony's Di Napoli-and had a huge family style dinner, followed by a super yummy strawberry shortcake...mmmm!

After that, we parted ways with Al's family, and met up with Mangan to head back into Hoboken. We decided to head out and hit the bar scene with Mangan, his "lady friend" Marcella, and Marcella's friends Ian and Shannon. Hoboken is a HUGE singles scene, and has a ton of adorable bars and restaurants. We were lined up to head into this super cute bar, and I could hear the tunes the DJ was spinning-which were all awesome. Until we got in there. He changed from whatever it was he was playing to hard core rap/hip hop, so I proceeded to drink. A lot. And, then, the 80's music started to play, and I just love the 80's. So, after several Bon Jovi songs, and vodka tonics later, I was loving life.

We stumbled next door to grab a late night snack, and went home to crash. I just love rockin' out in the Garden State.

Monday, May 08, 2006

You give love a bad name....



Okay, not YOU, per say...but lame pick up lines most certainly do give love a bad name.

Al and I were invited to a Hootenanny this past weekend-complete with live blue-grass music, and animal heads adorning the walls. The last time we went to the Hootenanny-everyone got into it-checked gingham as far as the eye could see, and cowboy hats and boots galore.

We had dressed accordingly for this party as well-with Al donning a Sheriff's/cowboy cap and a glue-on mustache, and me with a "howdy" shirt lined with rhinestones (oh yeah), and a kids bow and arrow set. If you must ask, we went with the cowboys AND "native americans" motif, trying to represent all hootenanny attendees. (when in DC, best to be PC)

Of course, this Hootenanny was a less enthusiastic crowd, leaving myself and the sheriff the only folks in full garb. Not to worry, we're champs, we like to make assess of ourselves as much as possible.

We had brought our friend Jess with us, and she brought along a few other single gals for the ride. After the Hootenanny trailed off, we decided to go to Tony and Joe's-which is a waterfront bar on the Potomac. Let me tell you-it's one thing to walk into a Hootenanny with the outfits we had on, but quite another to walk into a Georgetown bar filled with folks who had just come back from the horse races.

I quickly found that a kid's bow and arrow set is sure-fire (pun intended) way of getting a pick-up line. I heard everything from "Are you playing cupid tonight?" to "Is this a batchelorette party?" to "Ummm, can you tell me why on earth you have a bow and arrow?". My quote of the night was "What? Haven't you ever seen a girl in a bar carrying a bow and arrow before? Geez!"
And, after a few beers later, it was, "Howdy y'all, there's a new sheriff in town!" (having stolen Al's hat from him at this point.)

If you are single and ready to mingle, my best advice is to bring a random prop with you that will lead to interesting conversation. And, if you are married, and not doing the single thing, you can at least feel uber cool toting a bow and arrow set!