Give 'em the bird!

I had a traumatic experience this weekend. It may sound like I'm joking, but I assure you, this is no joking matter.

On Saturday morning, I left my house early to go work out. I felt a strange woooosh sound by my head as I was locking the door. I thought it was weird, but I wasn't certain what it was. I forgot my water bottle in the house, so when I went back to unlock the door, I felt it again. I saw a bird perched on our gate, and thought that there was just no way it could have been the bird woooshing at my head. I grabbed the water bottle-confident that I was just sleepy and imagining the whole thing-and went out the front door again. There was no mistaking it, the bird was dive-bombing me!!

What you have to understand is I'm TERRIFIED of birds. Not just even a little. I'm talking major fear. Is there a word for having a bird fear???

I've had many-a-bird incidents, and they freak me out. Once, a gaggle of geese all started hissing at me as I was walking along a path that was by water. I feared for my life as they all came toward me hissing aggressively. Then, in Australia, Al and I went to a wildlife habitat, where an ostrich-like-bird made a B line for me and literally started chasing me. So, with this bird dive-bombing me, I was totally petrified.

After I came home from working out, the bird attacked me again. I yelled for Al to come help me, because I was so scared. This bird was being really aggressive, and wasn't even letting me get in my front door. I figured out that it must be building a nest, or have babies or something, but still, I was just minding my own business---until it started provoking me. I grabbed our hose in my panic, and started spraying at it wildly. I'm sure I was a sight for the neighbors. I'm not sure what looked more crazy-me with the hose, or the bird attacking me.

I made it inside, unscathed, and began calling Animal Control. This bird was literally making me feel like a captive in my home-I couldn't escape because I feared it would attack. Animal Control was not helpful. They told me that unless the bird was dead or injured (or endangered) they would not come. Hellooooo--your name is Animal Control-aren't you supposed to "control" crazy animals?? I work for an environmental agency, and I can understand and appreciate not wanting to disturb wildlife, and that it's their home, they are just protecting their nest, but as I later came to find out, the bird is attacking ALL of my neighbors. People are feeling a bit apprehensive about being outside because of this crazy bird. To me, that is definitely a reason for Animal Control to come out!

On Sunday, I was lucky, and the bird left me alone--it was still out there, and still diving at people, but maybe the hosing off helped a little bit. Of course, it probably helped that I started carrying a tennis racket every time I left the house for protection. I had to laugh when Al suggested we rent "The Birds" as a tribute to my experience. No thanks-I've had enough to last me awhile.