Buns of Steel

Ok, so if that last post was harsh, I'm sorry....but, the blog is for honesty--sometimes brutal, sometimes sweet. That day, was feeling moody, and thank goodness I had a blog to take it out on.

Anyway, about a month ago, I decided to get myself back in shape. After the 75+ meals out due to the kitchen renovation---well, let's just say shopping wasn't very pretty. Well, it was pretty--pretty, depressing.

So, I decided to look for a workout class-I just can't do machines, I need someone telling me what to do for an hour. I like being mindless and having someone else guide me. After some heavy reconnaissance, I found this church..(bear with me) down the street from where I live that offers workout classes in the evenings and on Saturday morning. They do step, some weights, and a little jazzercise, etc. And, it's not through the church, just held there--which is weird at first, but doesn't even phase me any more.

I've been going for about a month now, and love it. My class is mostly africa-american women, who have such a good time--it's so contagious. They hoot and hollar, and really get into it--and of course, give me a bit of a heckling whenever I can't keep the beat (which, is often). But, I totally love it, love making an ass out of myself--and hey, my abs and butt are looking better...and I'm having fun doing it. The only downside is that I have to wake up early on Saturdays, and constantly have songs by the Backstreet Boys running through my head, but, if that's the only downside, I'll take it.

blah, blah, blah, do you care?, blah, blah, blah

It's holiday time---which means time to make the rounds, hit the parties, see many friends, and, of course, meet the other coworkers, friends, acquaintances of your host. Luckily, I know people at most of the parties we've attended, and can just throw myself into hour long conversations with people who I genuinely want to catch up with and hear how they are doing.

But, then, there is often the occasion where you are introduced to that one person you, "just have to meet!" because your host has "told so-and-so all about you!!". So, there you are, stuck in a conversation, hemming and hawing, trying to figure out what to say other than the not-so-brilliant "oh, yes, I've heard so much about you" small talk.

What gets me though (and, let's be honest, it is just a pet peeve of mine in general) are the constant-talkers, the one uppers, and the braggers. The one uppers: You have a story to tell--they have one that's EVEN BETTER! The constat talkers: They have a story to tell, and when you think they are done you try to tell a story or share a little about yourself, and they just keep on going telling a new story.. not even giving you a chance to talk, or much less asking you anything about yourself. As I walk away from these conversations, I wonder what opinion these people have formed of me, since they only really seem to be talking to themselves. The braggers: Everything they do and own is "fabulous" or a "must-try"--they don't care if what you've done is kinda cool, because they could do it better, and faster, and more fabulous than you could ever do it, so why bother?

And, another thing...is brevity. Please, when sharing a story with a stranger, be brief. I don't need details, I need the Cliff Notes version. I don't need the thesis and synopsis of your life, I just need the summary. Also, please only tell the story once. ONCE! Not multiple times. Gah.

But, to those of you whom I do know, I have no fear, and if I need you to cut it short, or if I've heard it, I'll tell you. But, if I don't know you, please, please....make it speedy, make it humble, and make it only a one time deal.

Greetings from Schwarzberg

I admit it, I love celebrity gossip. If there is a new US magazine on the stands when I go to the store, I shamelessly grab it. But, there is a new trend emerging...and to be honest, I'm not so sure about my love of these magazines any more. The trend is to combine the names of any 2 celebrities dating--it was cute for Bennifer. But, now we've got TomKat, Vaughniston, Garfleck..it's just annoying. And not creative in the very least. Come on you rag writers--give me something a little bit more interesting that just running 2 names together...and now there are some real stretches out there, and I just can't stand it. I may have to give up my love for these magazines entirely...if I read one more name combo, I'm on strike.

For now, this is Schwarzberg signing out....